I have had two conversations in the past couple days with two completely different people blessed with the same perspective gained from painful experiences. One is a successful business owner who just suffered the painful loss of a son and the other is a lady on disability because of a 29 year drug addiction. She told me a gruesome story riddled with drug addiction and alcohol abuse that has lead to personal injury and a wrecked family. He shared how the slow loss of his son changed him emotionally through the pain but in another breath said " God did it" "he is in a better place" "I would be selfish to want him back and not want him to be in heaven away from the pain and suffering of this world". She said "It is a miracle I am alive and I want the world to know about my Jesus and how He saves people". When talking to these amazing people it was obvious how real heaven is to them. I want that perspective of hope but I don't want to go through what they went through.

3Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance;4 perseverance, character; and character, hope. 5 And hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit, who has been given to us.

We don't know what we don't know

The other day I had to bring our Buick in for a tune up because it wasn't running so well.  I have learned that I have no skills when it comes to fixing our cars and so when I need work done, I should seek a professional right away! So, I went to see my mechanic named Dustin, who told me, "Joe you're only running on three out of six cylinders".  So I said,  "Wow, that sounds pretty bad, let's go ahead and get 'em running again buddy".  Dustin laughed because he knows me well enough to know that I had no idea what a cylinder was or that I even had six to start with. So he took me into his garage where he had several engines tore down and he showed me exactly what needed to be done. The next day, when I went to pick up our truck, Dustin told me he could only fix two of the three bad cylinders and if I wanted to get the other one fixed, he would need to tear into the engine to see why the remaining one wasn't working like it should. He also informed me that I had probably been running with two bad cylinders for awhile but didn't notice because when two are gone they balance out "the miss",  so you don't feel it and therefore wouldn't know it. But when the third one went out, everything changed.  The situation got me thinking about life. How many areas in life am I running on less than all cylinders?  And what if two of my cylinders are out, but it seems to me like everything is fine?When it really isn't? How do I even know I need to fix anything? I guess there are times when we just don't know something is wrong.  But just like with our truck, I think when we don't know, God protects us until something changes or He puts someone around us to help us identify the problem. Sometimes we just don't know what we don't know and it takes someone else either telling us or simply being an example.

Some things I have been doing

I feel like I should apologize for neglecting my blog but I have been trying not to force anything and maybe needed a break to focus on other things. So here is what I have been doing...

 Not to be a winer but having 3 kids compared to 2 is way harder and a lot more work. It is worth every diaper change, spill, spanking, tantrum, bottle and budget adjustment but it is still a much different dynamic than having only 2. If it wasn't for my amazing wife I would be toast. She cooks, cleans, does my laundry and is always up to take care of any dirty job that is waiting for us when we wake up in the morning. She is my hero! I help as much as I know how but to be honest I can't keep up like i know I should. On the flip side the rewards have been more than gratifying. Instead of going out with friends as much as we used to I am very satisfied to be home holding and feeding our new baby boy. Matthew is a breath of fresh air. He is the sweetest squishiest most cuddly little thing I have ever had in my arms. I could sit and play with him for hours, listening to his little boy sounds while I do things I would not normally do just to make him smile. My girls are getting smarter every day. I love introducing them to new things and encouraging their creativity. We read, play, swim, swing, slide and watch movies. Life is good.

 I have been doing a lot of reading and working on some changes in the way I lead worship. I might blog more about this specifically later but for now I just want to catch up. The idea of becoming more self aware has been a big thought with me lately and I have been working on ways of learning my strengths and weakness's. It has been a little painful as I have been disillusioned in some areas but also very freeing. For instance I am not as good of a plumber or construction worker as I thought I was : (. Katrina and I have been working on getting healthy by learning to get our eating under control. She is amazing at it, I may come around. I have been reading Galatians and Ephesians lately. These books have made me realize I have been living under some legalism and that it is easy for legalism to slip into our thinking habits. I shared a story at Riverzedge on Sunday from the book Pilgrims Progress by John Bunyan. If you are not familiar with it please get it and read it with your family. It has been an easy way to teach and learn big truths about faith. I know this post is a little bit unordinary for me but I just wanted to let things flow.

Video Blog Men and meekness

Criticism

I tend to take criticism hard. It is never easy to hear how unhappy you make people but criticism (from the right people) makes me take an honest evaluation of myself and that is never a bad thing. Here are ten things I have been thinking to myself this week after some healthy constructive criticism...

1. You will never make everyone happy so stop thinking    you can. 
2. Get people around you. You get more done that way and its more fun to work with a team.
3. Take the time to know what you should be doing and what you shouldn't 
4. It is better to do less well, then do a lot a little...Finish well
5. Be dripping with grace in every situation and always give people the benefit of the doubt 
6. End TXT messages with a smiley face so people don't read it the wrong way 
7. Some conversions are not for TXT messaging :) 
8. My family (kids and wife) comes before the church :) 
9. God builds the church and still uses me in spite of who I really am 
10. If I am not connected to the vine my spirit withers and my flesh gets out of control. 

Here are a couple quotes I borrowed form Mark Driscoll's Facebook page this week...

 "Don't let the voices of 100's who love you be erased by a singular voice of 1 who hates you today.Do the math.You are loved."

 "If you don't want to be criticized it's simple —don’t say anything, don't do anything, and don't have anything."

 "Count yourself blessed every time someone cuts you down or throws you out, every time someone smears or blackens your name to discredit me. What it means is that the truth is too close for comfort and that that person is uncomfortable." (Luke 6:22 MSG)

Zeal and Fervor

Romans 12:11 says "never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord" I don't know about you but I could use a healthy does of both zeal and fervor, and oh yeah some help balancing the two. Tell me this how do you balance your intensity (zeal) with warmth and feeling (fervor)? I am working on balancing the two in all areas of my life. How about you?